Herpes Nation
Newsletter Volume One, Edition Four
Welcome Home
Hooking Up
Amber Madison is a twenty-two-year-old Tufts University graduate
and former sex columnist for the Tufts Daily newspaper and author of
"Hooking Up: A Girls' All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality".
Having grown up with parents who always talked openly about sex, she
was determined to provide girls with comprehensive and accurate
information about their sexual health and deliver it in an entertaining
and humorous way. The book is hilarious, uninhibited, and full of
must-have knowledge about safer sex and sexuality. Hooking Up gives
frank talk on a slew of meaningful issues concerning sexual activity
and intimacy, and addresses the emotional aspects that textbooks so
often ignore. Revealing her own experiences and often humorous mishaps,
Amber covers topics including: vaginas, masturbation, virginity,
orgasms, sex acts, STDs, contraception, condom use, pregnancy, sexual
assault, body image, relationships, and homosexuality.
We talked recently to Amber about "Hooking Up".
Q: What motivated you to write "Hooking Up"?
They say that your professional pursuits are really an attempt to
resolve your own internal conflicts, and that's what attracted me to
studying sexuality. I started writing a sex column because I wanted to
fix things for other girls that I knew needed to be fixed for myself. I
developed early, looked old for my age, and before I had even thought
about having sex, everything I did was sexualized. I needed to
understand how I wanted sex to fit into my life, and I needed
reassurance that it was under my control.
My column tackled many issues: female sexuality, relationships, and of
course STDs and contraception. The more columns I wrote, the more
questions I got. And the more questions I got, the more I understood
how desperate girls are for explanations about their bodies,
information about sex, and reassurance that their experiences are
normal. Even in college, many sexually active girls don't have a good
grasp on how to protect their reproductive health, or have enough
confidence to negotiate sexual relationships on their own terms. And I
didn't have to extrapolate what it was like for girls in high school; I
remember. Girls grow up bombarded with images of sexuality, but at the
same time, few are willing to actually talk with them about sex. I
believe that sex can be a normal and healthy part of a young woman's
development. But at the same time, sex is full of complex issues, and
without an open discussion, girls end up confused.
Young people don't get a lot of straightforward information about sex,
and I wanted to write something to "fill in the holes" so to speak of
their sex education. I wanted to tackle issues of sexuality from all
sides, emotional and psychological, and give more than just facts. I
also wanted to write something to address teen's real questions and
speak to them in language they could relate to.
Q: What are the top three questions about sexuality that young women
come to you with?
The want to know why they do not enjoy sex or have an easier time
having an orgasm; how guys and girls are different in terms or what
they want out of sex and relationships; and what they should do if
their partner doesn't like condoms.
Q: How much do young women (and young men, for that matter) know about
STDs and safer sex in general?
Young people seem to know some facts about STDs, but not everything
they need to know to keep themselves safe. One myth that's very
prevalent is that if someone has an STD you'd be able to see it. Many
young people I talk with seem shocked that the majority of STDs show no
visible signs or symptoms. Also, they put too much stock into the claim
"I've been tested," and don't know to follow up with questions like
"tested for what," and "how long ago."
Q: And how about herpes in particular? What myths prevail?
Very few people know that someone could be carrying the herpes virus
but never have a manifestation of the symptoms. I think people don't
understand how common the herpes virus actually is.
Q: I've read reports recently suggesting that young girls are easily
convinced by their peers to give oral sex because "it isn't really sex"
and they often perform fellatio unprotected. What do you hear as you
speak in schools?
I think that our society puts a lot of weight on vaginal intercourse,
especially in regards to whether or not you are a virgin, and what it
means to abstain from sex. I've never met anyone who felt that they
weren't a virgin after having oral sex, and for that reason many people
don't consider it "real sex." Also, while many girls feel comfortable
demanding a condom when having sexual intercourse, they don't feel as
comfortable demanding it for oral sex, simply because they do not see
it as the norm.
Q: We hear so much lately about the early sexualization of girls by the
media, including fashion and the cult of celebrity. In your experience,
what effect is this phenomenon having on girls and young women these
days?
It's a huge issue. In my experience young women present themselves as
very sexual because they see it everywhere, but at the same time, don't
really understand what they are doing and what image they are
portraying.
Q: What is the best advice you could give young women today? And what
would you like to tell their parents?
The best advice I could give young women is to really tune into what
their body and mind is telling them about the sexual decisions they are
making, and to stick closely with what they truly want - not what their
partners want, what their friends are doing, or having sex to fill some
other sort of void. To parents - talk to your kids. It's not going to
make them more likely to do it, but it is going to give them guidance.
Q: Any advice to us in the Herpes Nation? How can we best educate young
people about herpes and STDs?
I think the best way to educate teens about sex is to talk to them like
they're real people--not irrational beings overrun with hormones.
Really listen to what they are telling you, and address those needs,
and make clear that you are there only to help them, not to judge them
in any way.
Sounds like your book will go a long way to helping us take that
advice. Thanks, Amber.
It's Never Too Late
by Christoper Scipio
Teens aren't the only sexually active population in need of education
regarding herpes and STDs. According to research in the journal of
Sexually Transmitted Infections, the rates of sexually transmitted
infections have doubled among the over 45 population in less than a
decade.
The most commonly diagnosed infection among the over 45s was genital
warts, accounting for almost half of the episodes. Herpes was the next
most common, accounting for almost one in five. Cases of Chlamydia,
herpes, warts, gonorrhea and syphilis all rose sharply.
People over 45 going into new relationships, perhaps after the death or
divorce of their partner should discuss having safer sex. Baby boomers
should talk about what they have and have not been tested for.
Boomers Need to Get Tested
It's just as important for sexually active Baby Boomers to get tested
and then be honest with prospective partners, as it is for their kids.
Baby boomers don't typically go into the doctor's office for a herpes
test, and if they do, its sometimes difficult to convince their medical
doctor to do the blood test required. This is crazy, because only about
30 percent of the people infected, whatever their age group, know that
they are infected. Sexual activity for boomers does not have to stop
after a positive diagnosis. It doesn't have to be doom and gloom, you
just have to be straightforward. Precautions such as condoms or an
antiviral gel or lubricant can help lower the chances of transmitting
the virus.
Be Honest About STDs I often
deal with people who are angry, embarrassed and ashamed, but I want to
remind you again that you are the same person you were before the
diagnosis. 'Don't be a victim. You are not less attractive, less funny,
less moral ... It shouldn't change your life. Being honest is
imperative, though. People are going to be impressed that you are being
honest. They are going to be glad that you had the guts to tell them.
In the 19 years of being infected, I have not had one person not want
to be in a relationship with me because of herpes.
Herpes and Me
by Linden Morris
August 2008
My history with Herpes has been pretty brief. I am not entirely sure
when I contracted HSV and to this day I am not entirely sure who gave
it to me. Although I believe it was within the context of an intimate
relationship. In the beginning I felt better about that; like there was
some kind of moral high ground associated with how I contracted my
virus. In hindsight, of course, that notion is patently ridiculous.
My HSV has been a journey of evolution regarding my thinking re:
sexuality and how I relate to the virus. Ultimately, Herpes has shown
me my humanness and my fallibility, my defensiveness, my lack of
thoughtful evolution at times (especially in the beginning) It has also
taught me how to be a little grander in my humanness and how to sort
out what I think matters and what doesn't matter in the bigger picture
called life. Getting herpes has challenged many of my preconceived
notions about myself and others. It has held "my hand to the fire" in
terms of what I said and what I did and how that all lined up.
Initially, I went through what I am guessing is the usual shock,
disbelief and denial most people go through. I remember very clearly,
getting some sores on my panty line in the back and thinking that it
was just simple chafing that was causing a skin problem. Forget that I
never have had unusually sensitive skin and never an open sore! That
level of denial, frankly, blows my mind when I look back on it.
Unfortunately, there is no denying that that is what happened. It was
probably about a year after that that I actually received a diagnosis
of HSV II. It was a bad day. Initially, I tried some of the medicines
available to treat Herpes and was simply not able to tolerate them...a
blessing in disguise, although not recognized as such at that time. My
treatment at that time was abstinence. I noticed I would get outbreaks
around my period or if I was in the sun too much. It also seemed that
stress could sometimes precipitate an attack.
I hated my outbreaks. They were uncomfortable, painful at times and
from start to finish (usually 2-3 long weeks) a reminder to me of all
the things I had failed at in life. I don't know about other people but
my Herpes Infection seemed to gnaw at ever issue I ever might have had;
bringing them all to the surface to be lassoed together and fed into
the machinery of my mind. Creating what I commonly referred to as "Low
Self Esteem or Self Hatred 101" Who would ever want me like this? I
didn't even want me like this! Had I not been dealt enough difficulties
in my life? Now this! We are all familiar with that line of thinking
and I seemed to have it in spades.
Eventually, I found myself in an intimate relationship and knew that I
needed to get some treatment. My partner was less than sympathetic and
of course worried about getting the virus from me. I knew about
Christopher Scipio from researching alternative treatments for Herpes
and started to use his formulations and to follow his advice. I
remember in the beginning of my treatments I was plagued with several
things: Lack of patience, persistent prodrome (although very few
outbreaks) and a sensitivity to some of Christopher's treatments that
made me not always able to partake of some of the remedies. I have to
say that once I "knuckled down" things just gradually began to fall
into place. I was diligent in my weekly updates with Christopher. Good
thing that I was. As I updated him on my progress, he was able to fine
tune my Herpes Protocol Treatment. He also made many alternative
suggestions when I was having reactions to something or it appeared
that something could work better.
I think I needed a progression of time to adjust to the changes I
needed to make. For me, I seemed to turn a big corner with my Herpes
treatment when I tightened up my diet. Never a caffeine drinker, that
was not a problem. I remember Christopher asking me, after a nasty
outbreak just after Christmas if I was adhering to a Herpes diet. I
went back and reviewed what I was doing. Nuts were a problem as was
chocolate, sugar and gelatine. I became vigilant. I also added daily
portions of friendly "non outbreak" food items that helped. Although my
"Treatment Protocol" is always evolving there are certain food items
that I have just eliminated from my diet. I have recently found that
small doses of some of the foods that I really love have not caused my
virus to resurface. I also listened to the Hypnosis CD's diligently in
the beginning and cycle back to them when I am feeling that I need a
tune up.
Where am I at now? Well, I still continue to work on my acceptance of a
lifelong relationship with this virus called Herpes. I know and accept
that it is not going to go away. I have outbreaks from time to time.
Within the context of an intimate relationship my biggest struggle has
been not having outbreaks due to friction from sexual activity. I am
happy that in the last year I have only had two outbreaks and I am
sexually active. My partner does not have any signs of the virus.
Christopher's treatment protocols, knowledge and support have played a
huge part in my cohabiting with my virus in a way that I experience as
pretty workable.
I still do not like outbreaks, but now I have very significant amounts
of time where I am outbreak free. I have had to work on accepting this
virus in a more positive way. I identify myself as a person with
Herpes. My family and friends now knows I have the virus. I do not fly
a banner about my HSV condition, but conversely, I do not hide it. My
HSV has not been the end of my world. It has been a learning experience
which has added to my inner dialogue.
Of all of my experiences which include the good, the bad and the
mundane, herpes has now been given a voice. It has most certainly had
its good and bad moments, although on most days it is not a worry and
occupies the "mundane column" in the file system of my mind.
Email Christopher Scipio
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Christopher
Scipio's Natural Herpes Treatment Protocol
Christopher
Scipio is the most experienced practitioner in the natural treatment of
herpes and HPV.
Read Christopher's Book "Making
Peace with Herpes" and listen to the optional Hypnosis CDs to maximize
the effectiveness of the book.
Book a phone consultation with Christopher.
Purchase Christopher's
Natural Herpes Formulas custom-formulated for you.
Buy his Red Marine Algae Sex Gel to help reduce the risk of infecting
others.
